From dishwasher to Hisswasher

By Cara Sulieman

TOURISTS staying at a Scots holiday cottage got the shock of their lives after opening a dishwasher – to find a snake lurking inside.

The visitors were staying at a house in Aberfeldy, Perthshire, when they went to load dishes in the machine only to find the Californian King snake had curled around t pipes turning from a dishwasher to a HISS-washer.

But the cool customers didn’t panic and immediately called in Scottish SPCA officers to come and collect the slithery surprise, nicknamed Ali.

Kenny Sharp, manager of the charity’s Balerno rehoming centre where the snake is being cared for, said that it was in surprisingly clean health.

Curled around the pipes

He added: “As far as we’re aware the dishwasher wasn’t on when they found the snake. They were about to load it up when they found the reptile curled round the pipes inside.

“It is more than likely that it has gone in there because it is hot, snakes like the heat and will always try to find somewhere to keep warm.

“It looks as though it belongs to somebody as it was very well looked after and in a very good condition. Either it had lived off the local mouse population or only recently escaped.

“We will hold it here for seven days but after then we will try and find a new home for the reptile.”

In a cupboard

Ali is just one of many strange and exotic creatures found by unsuspecting people across Scotland.

Only last week Rosemary Dailly in Niddrie found a Rosy Boa in a cupboard under the sink.

She was getting ready to wash her car when she came across the slithery intruder.

She said: “I started pulling everything I needed out of the cupboard and I saw this thing moving at the back. At first I thought I was imagining things – I couldn’t believe it.

“I would have expected to be more afraid but I just picked it up and put it in a tub with some water. It seemed to like that because I think it was thirsty.

“I hope they find a good home for it because it was absolutely gorgeous. My grandchildren wanted me to keep it but I would have had no idea how to look after it.

“It’s nice to hear it’s called a Rosy Boa, though, because I sometimes get called Rosie too.”

Through the water pipes

The reptile is believed to have travelled through water pipes into Mrs Dailly’s flat, but it is not known for sure.

Kenny’s advice to anyone who finds a reptile in their house it to contain it and call for help.

He said: “Obviously a lot people are quite fearful of reptiles but they will only strike as a last resort and most of the snakes kept as pets are not venomous.”

But hysterical calls about slithery snakes are not uncommon at the Scottish SPCA, as Kenny explained.

He said: “This is a typical situation we are called to on a regular basis. We get calls all the time where people have found snakes in the garden, under the floorboards and other places.

“Often they come from the flat above or below, just escape from their cage and go for a wander.”

Desperately seeking homes

The charity are now desperately trying to find homes for the 13 snakes in the centre as they are running out of room.

But they are warning that any future owner will have to know how to look after them properly.

Centre Manager Diane Stewart said, “Our centre specialises in caring for exotics and we have staff who are trained in their feeding and care.

“However, our exotics room is very full at the moment and we are keen to find suitable, experienced homes for these fantastic creatures.

“Anyone looking to rehome a snake or a terrapin will need to have the right knowledge and experience as well as the time and resources to care for them properly.

“Each species has specific requirements, including the need for an appropriately sized vivarium and an environment that is kept at the right temperature and humidity.”

Anyone interested in rehoming an animal or wishing to donate to or join the Scottish SPCA can visit scottishspca.org or telephone 03000 999 999.

Tasty tablet keeps the troops going

By Cara Sulieman

A SCOTTISH sweetie maker has brought joy to the front line with her world famous tablet.

Anne Riley has been making the sweet treat for eighteen years and supplies the upmarket House of Bruar as well as smaller local shops throughout the country.

And now the 46-year-old is feeding her toughest crowd yet – the men and women of the armed forces.

A famous face in Aberfeldy, Anne is known throughout the area for her cooking skills.

And so it’s no surprise that a package of her tablet made it’s way to Iraq as part of a Christmas present.

Sargeant Sandie Kennedy at RAF Leuchars was sent some of the delicious treat by her mum, and shared it round the base in Basra.

She said: “My mother sent me a package of the tablet as a Christmas present from Anne, which I shared with my colleagues.

“I have always loved tablet and after my colleagues enjoyed it so much at Christmas, I had the idea to ask for some more.

“I was expecting a few bars but Anne very kindly donated 93 bars, which is real morale-boosting stuff.

“A lot of the personnel here are from England so they hadn’t tasted tablet before and they absolutely loved it. They have been raving about it.

“I also gave a few bars to some of the guys in the RAF Regiment, who are on patrol, and to some of the local community, who also love it.”

But despite her international fans when Anne started out she was making only 16 bars at a time in her kitchen.

Now that she gets orders from shops and businesses around the country she has to make 100 bars in a batch to keep up with demand.

She said: “I started out because my sons were young and I thought ‘I need to do something.’

“Making tablet was the only thing I was any good at. It’s gone quite well.”

And it’s not just hungry soldiers that search the globe for her scrumptious creation.

Anne has had orders from people all over the world who have tasted the tablet in Scotland and have to have another bite.

Anne said: “The strangest people who have ordered from me were some nuns in Canada.

“I think someone had taken some back home with them and given them to the nuns, who then called and asked me to post them some.”

X-Men Star Goes Camping In NY

By Alexander Lawrie

SCOTS film star Alan Cumming has thrilled crowds in New York by performing his first ever musical concert.

The bi-sexual actor performed songs by Cyndi Lauper, Dolly Parton and Abba as he made his debut in front of 800 fans at the Lincoln Centre, near Central Park.

X-Men star Cumming, 44, who has recently become a naturalised US citizen, is said to be “delighted” at the reception he received from the audience.

Performing as part of the American Songbook series of concerts, Cumming kept things just a touch camp and off-colour with stories of Graham Norton stuck in Dollywood during 9/11, a paparazzi photo with pop singer Mika and riding on the back of a motorcycle through the city while high.

Originally from Aberfeldy, Perthshire, Cumming opened his show with his version of Cyndi Lauper’s ‘Shine’, before yelling: “Time for some ABBA!”

The flamboyant star then proceeded to belt out a rousing cover of the Swedish pop giant’s ‘Where I Want to Be’, which featured in the hit musical Chess.

During the show he also sang songs made famous by Frank Sinatra, Cole Porter and Charles Aznavour, as well as a selection of theatre numbers from various musicals including Cabaret, Chess and Falsettoland.

One of the most touching moments of his hour-long set was when he admitted to sharing an ex-boyfriend with his music director, Lance Horne.

He then performed a song by Horne about the man in question, “Don’t Tell Me,” and seemed comfortable baring his personal life so boldly.

The gay icon trained at the Royal Scottish Academy of Music and Drama, and Cumming was most recently on stage in New York playing the debauched divine rock god Dionysus in The National Theater of Scotland’s production The Bacchae.

 The Goldeneye actor has led a colourful life having been married to a woman in the mid-80s.

Last year he married graphic artist Grant Shaffer in a civil ceremony in Greenwich, London, and the couple now live in New York with their beloved dogs.

The Hollywood idol shot to fame in the sitcom The High Life and has since starred in a number of top movies including Goldeneye and X-Men 2.

The extravagant actor also has his own beauty range, the initial product being a cologne called ‘Cumming: the Fragrance’.

There is also a series of other cosmetic merchandise, many with suggestive names such as ‘Cumming All Over’ body wash.

Cumming’s dream to see Obama naked

By Michael MacLeod

SELF-confessed willy expert Alan Cumming reckons Barack Obama has a big one.

The Scottish-turned-American actor says the new President is the one person he would most like to see naked.

But he admits his only evidence is his imagination and his own theory that Obama’s confidence is due to his penis size.

He said: “I’d like to see Obama naked; I have a theory and I would like to see if it is true.

The bisexual X-Men and GoldenEye star, originally from Aberfeldy in Perthshire, lives in New York and took up US citizenship just to vote for the Democrat.

But his plan backfired when immigration bosses failed to swear him in on time.

But there’s no doubt he’s still a big fan of Obama – or a fan of “big Obama,” if Cumming’s theory is to be believed.

Speaking at the launch of a photography book in Manhattan, he couldn’t help by fantasise about the new “big” man in the White House.

He said: “So much of male psyche is taken up with how big your cock is; it’s a huge deal in our lives, and so when you’re confident about your penis size, it shows.

“Well, just look at him. Just the way he’s so kind of elegant and very confident in his body and himself.

“I think great leaders, charismatic leaders and men who are so confident and who have achieved so much, usually have big penises.

“I think there’s a correlation between the level of confidence, the level of the way a man can hold a room and the way he conducts himself in life, with his penis size – with his comfort with his penis size.”

The Holywood superstar has long been open about his love for the male genitalia, and is even a patron of NORM-UK, a registered charity against circumcision.

Cumming admits he’s even had conversations with friends over the size of Obama’s bits, leaving him in no doubt.

He added: “Someone told me that they worked out with him in a gym in Chicago, and it was big.”

The film and screen superstar has his own range of body fragrance, as well as the suggestively named “Cumming All Over” body wash.

Bookshop Bed-In Promotes Literacy

By Alexander Lawrie

 A SCOTS book shop owner is urging customers to beat the biting recession and escape the worries of the economy by spending the day in bed with a good book.

Jayne Ramage, 49, staged a 24 hour bed-in yesterday (Fri 23/01) at her shop in Aberfeldy to show how books can help us escape the financial gloom and raise our spirits.

During the unusual exhibition Jayne spent the whole day in bed with a succession of escapist, inspiring and uplifting books.

Her novel day off was complete with cups of tea, biscuits, a cat at the end of the bed, a telephone off the hook, lots of fluffy pillows and a warm duvet and, of course, a pile of books to fill 24 hours. 

And the books Jayne picked for the day included The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Castaway, Get the Life You Want and 1000 Ultimate Travel Experiences.

She said: “This is something I try and do three or four times a year myself. I always find reading a chapter a night is never enough so I try and spend the whole day surrounded by everything I need and just read.

“It’s a bit like a ‘duvet day’ but with a bit more planning. I can recommend it to everyone as it is really relaxing.

“There is also a serious side to this though, as I really believe promoting literacy is a welcome idea.

“If the bed-in inspires just one child to pick up a book then it has all been worthwhile. Story-telling is so important and we shouldn’t take it for granted.”

The former primary school head teacher has owned the Watermill book shop with her husband Kevin for the past three years, and the couple were proud to receive the Independent Book Shop of the Year Award 2008 from Alexander McCall Smith last year.

Jayne said: “I’ve been getting lots of comments from customers about being in bed instead of working, but everyone has had a smile on their face when they spot me so it has been well worth it.

“Reading is totally recession proof, and in today’s climate that really is saying something. All I’m hoping people take from this is that picking up a new book, or an old favourite, is a great way of getting away from the stresses and strains of life.”

The couple also help to promote child literacy in the Aberfeldy area by holding free after school book club classes, with up to 50 kids signing up to attend each week.

The John Lennon-style bed-in was also a huge hit with customers at the Watermill bookshop.

Douglas Craig, 61, a retired folk singer, said: “It’s very unusual to see someone in bed when you pop into a book shop, but after a chat with Jayne it all makes so much more sense.

“I think it’s a wonderful idea, as anything that gets people to read more can only be beneficial.

“She’s an inspiration for people to keep on reading, and enjoying, books.

The Watermill is an award-winning bookshop, art gallery, music shop and café, all housed in a restored grade ’A’ listed former watermill building in Aberfeldy, Perthshire. 

It is the largest bookshop in the rural Highlands, stocking over 10,000 books.